How To Make Choices and Decisions

There is not one formula on how to make choices or decisions, but here are some tips and tools.

First off, are you making a choice or a decision? Choice connotes option and selection where decision stems from root word “to cut off.”

Consider the following when choosing or deciding:

1. Values Clarify and define your values. The processes of developing and refining our values and value system occur throughout life. Over time, we shed values that belong to our parents and society. Others we develop through experience and lessons.

   As our values become clearer, our reference point becomes more defined. We can make choices by asking, “what adds value and what doesn’t?” or “which choice aligns with our values?”

   Our values are constantly shaping so it’s healthy to update them as we grow wise. The closer we come to self mastery and knowing our truths, the more easily we establish clear values as reference points.

2. Human Design Determine your human design type, learn about and implement your strategy. Helpful resources include My Body Graph and Ignite Your Joy.

3. Uniqueness Accept your uniqueness and that your decision making method is personal. Again there is not one formula.

4. Subtle Body Mastery Observe and become aware of your subtle bodies and facets. Here is a simple example of how our different subtle bodies and aspects of self may respond to a simple question: to eat the cookie or not to eat the cookie?

   Our emotions and inner child may say “Yes! I want it - it will make me feel good. I haven’t had a cookie in so long!” Our body may say “No thanks, I’m preparing to do yoga and this will not make me feel good during practice.” Our mind may say “well, since this cookie has X grams of sugar and is not keto-friendly, and I already had a treat today, maybe I shouldn’t…or maybe I should because if I keep restricting myself, I’ll eat more later.”

   Hearing the answer of the wisdom body develops with time and practice because this takes calming of the mental and emotional bodies. This wisdom body, connected with our intuitive facet, whose choice knows and seeks alignment, is usually the best compass. This body knows if it’s time to stake boundaries and say no or if it’s time to be flexible and say yes. The answer is not simple and depends on all conditions that have led up to this point.

   Imagine all of the choices we make daily. They add up. The more we know and allow our subtle body responses to harmonize by giving ourselves practices, quietude, and space to hear the wisdom body, choices will become more effortless and seamless. We will KNOW.

5. Direction Consider your goals and intentions. Which choice moves you in that direction? Which choice keeps you neutral, and which choice leads you further away? Again the answer is not always obvious because sometimes you need to move further away to gain new perspective or to break a pattern. Give the wisdom body space to answer.

6. Timing Wait for clarity. If you are not sure and the answer is “maybe,” meditate on it. Have patience. “Maybe” is an okay answer until you have clarity. Allow answers to unfold in divine timing.

7. Communication Talk about your crossroads or intersection with a friend, family member, teacher or someone you trust - someone who will let you talk and weigh your options. People who listen well can be your mirrors for the answer. In most cases, avoid someone who tells you what to do or fills the space with advice.

8. Reading Get a reading for guidance on how to navigate.

Be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself. Choices may seem simple but are not always easy! Honor your time, place, and space in every moment!

My Journey Home

Today I returned to my childhood stomping grounds, The Hollywood Reservoir.  Following the GPS from my current home, I entered the lake from a brand new route at the bridge crossing.  Upon approaching the bridge overlooking the lake, a brilliant mirror of blue and green reflected above and below.  Trios and families of ducks merrily paddled after an outpouring of fresh water that elevated the lake.

A feeling of purified nostalgia flooded my heart - vivid memories of my Dad, brother, and I riding our mountain bikes, racing, feeding ducks, and looking for deer.  Other memories arose such as continuously sprinting up and down the hill conditioning for soccer during hot summer days and pensively thinking during high emotional turbulence.  The lake was my joy, innocence, outlet, stability, training ground, connection to nature, and sanctuary.

After days of rain, the skies cleared today.  Beaming sun rays shone down upon the verdant hills and crisp, clear water.  My heart was filled and skin warm.  Shining with radiance after catching up with one of my dearest friends from college, the warm fulfilling energy continued.  With every person that passed, I beamed with a hello.  I was curious to see the memories that would flood in while circling the lake.  

I exited the bridge and began.  

Recently Eric and I talked about the salmon’s journey and how it leaves its home but ultimately comes back.  The journey back is one of knowing and intuition.  Today I felt like that salmon.  I knew priority was coming back to the lake.  I started to chuckle at myself for running around the world in search of beauty, and just before my eyes it was here less than a few miles from my current residence.  In different snapshots I saw scenes from places like Bali, Tahiti, the Caribbean, Mammoth, Scotland and so on.  It was all here.  I was amazed.  As a child, I saw the lake in one way, and now through a completely different lens.  The former was one of familiarity, adventure, exploration, play, and escape and the latter one of beauty, majesty, appreciation, restoration, and fulfillment - same place, different view.  

Upon passing various walkers, I saw an old neighbor and caught pieces of conversations: “I haven’t been to Bali,” “we just got back from the Caribbean,” “walking downhill hurts my knees more than going up.”  As I was thinking of my Scottish adventures, a large man with a thick red beard and kilt walked by.  As I remembered many days snowboarding in Mammoth, I looked up and saw a man with a Mammoth shirt running by, knowing that whoever crossed my path and whatever words I heard and saw were significant.  I observed the array of flora and fauna - deer, moss, eucalyptus, pine, cacti, bottle brush, succulents.  I thought of my Grandma and how we would walk and practice naming flowers ~ her sweet essence filled the air.  I remembered how my Dad, brother, and I found it auspicious to sight deer and how once we saw a big snake.  There were tales of mountain lions, but we never spotted one.  The lake is where we rescued our dog Henry (AKA “Henri Matisse”).  It was a place where I pretended I was in Wuthering Heights.  All of the memories continued flooding in.

Upon approaching the west gate, a sign read “closed.”  A tree had fallen and blocked the path.  I normally don’t like returning on the same path from which I came (prefer to make circles when hiking).  However, in walking back from the other direction, I noticed so many differences in the plants, homes, vistas, and light.  I knew I’d have to come back to make the full circle soon but accepted that this was the path back.  I spotted a tick and thought of lyme disease.  I saw the same deer on the way back and people’s smiling faces.  I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation for my childhood and neighborhood.  In my eyes, everyone was talented - an amazing artist, mother, father, and so on.

I then began to contemplate the stark contrast between this lush highland, and what lies below, Hollywood - the walk of fame, gaudy shops, swarms of tourists, cluttered streets.  The memories of frequenting nightclubs in my late teens and twenties returned in snippets of flashbacks.  My friends would always push me toward the door first because I was the one who got us in whether we were underage, didn’t want to pay, or weren’t on the list.  I thought of past lovers, crazy places and adventures we’d end up in.  I then remembered that as a senior in high school, I only applied to east coast schools because I wanted to get as far away from this land of chaos, materialism, gaudiness, superficiality, tension, problems, and shame.  These feelings arose not only from the urban elements of the city but also from family tension and issues.  I wanted to escape and get the #$%^ out - as far away as possible.

Landing in Baltimore for college, I ended up returning home for the summers sometimes frequenting the lake.  Since it was mostly summer when I saw it, there was a point when the water was dry, hills brown, graffiti fresh, and litter prominent.  This once beautiful place of intrigue and adventure seemed barren, depressing, and regressed.  Innocence was lost.  Eventually our home was sold.  I received a message from a childhood friend, “did you see your old house was on some flipping house show on MTV?”  I watched a few seconds of the show but couldn’t bare to see the rest.

Today, after a decade plus, I was at the lake and felt an inpouring of renewal, regeneration, awe, beauty, and appreciation.  Memories which were once sad, longing, depressing, and regretful were washed away with fresh air, sunlight, sprigs of new grass, majestic deer, clear reflection, smiling humans, strong pine trees, and baby pine cones.

Upon returning to my starting place on the bridge, I looked over the lake once more reflecting on all the places I had been, laughing at some and appreciating others, realizing the importance of perspective.  The lake was not as reflective as it had been when I first started my walk, for the wind had picked up and ripples danced across the surface.

Wisdom from the lake said, “in stillness, reflection is clearest.”

And that was my journey home.

Renewal

Create a Crystal Garden Grid for Each Moon Cycle

A moon cycle crystal grid is like an urban garden. Some of us do not garden regularly since we live in city apartments. Creating an evolving crystal garden is a fantastic solution!

Steps

1. New Moon (blank slate): Start with a clear slate (I have been using a 10”x12” slate of white quartz slab but you can pick your material and size).

2. Waxing Moon (building): As crystals resonate with you throughout the waxing moon (could be from current collection or new ones), add them to your slate in whatever arrangement intuitively feels right.

3. Full Moon (observation): Look at and appreciate your grid. What feels balanced? What could you change? Take a photo for memory and in a notebook, write down the crystals present.

4. Waning Moon (refining): Continue rearranging, perhaps subtracting from places that became cluttered.

5. Next New Moon (reset): Swipe slate and start over.

***Alternative Option: If you have lots of space and material, you can keep the grid from every cycle and refine throughout the year.

Building Your Grid | Photo 1. new moon | Photo 2. waxing moon | Photo 3. full moon

We can learn a lot from making these crystal grid gardens. First off, to what kinds of crystals are you drawn? What does that reflect? What do your arrangements look like? Do your patterns have lots of space, little space, circular, rectangular, spiral-like structure? Are you drawn to the same crystals every cycle or different ones? How do your choices reflect astrological influences and your present life situations?

Making these grids can bring greater understanding of the elements and the process of creation. The photo above is my Capricorn crystal garden centering around building a nourished foundation, taking action, and fueling inner passion and creative fire. Crystals are black tourmaline, red calcite, clear quartz, red tigers eye, carnelian, pyrite cube, scolecite, and seaweed jasper.

Try your own!

Showing Up in 2019

If we want change, we cannot step into 2019 the same way we showed up for 2018.

I heard this from mastermind business coach Sigrun, and the meaning really hit home.

2018 was a spiral year for me. Like a spiral, one similar shape within the next, 2018 looked very similar to 2017. However, the slight difference was that this year I was able to see situations from a higher perspective whereas in 2017 I was fully participating in situations without an aerial vantage point.

Progress can feel slow and almost non-existent in spiral years because we seem to be taking another lap on the same track, but they are subtly different. These types of years are not always the most comfortable as there is not much external change, extrinsic exponential growth, or huge breakthroughs to report.

Though not much seems to be evolving, spiral years center around internal resolution and transformation.

If you could summarize your 2018 in a shape or trajectory, what did it look like?

To move forward, progress, and evolve, let’s focus on intention - why do we feel, think, and do what we do? Sometimes we go about our daily habits and routines without much questioning. We hang out with the same people, we take the same classes, we chip away at the same work, we eat at the same restaurants, we view people and situations from the same lens.

What if we could polish our lens or better yet get a new one for 2019? How would we show up and what would we do? Make a list of what you have been wanting or dreaming of and next to that desire, write the action steps you will take to get there. Residual income? Start setting up a business to generate this. A new home? Keep looking and opening to the right spot. A life partner? Put yourself in a place to meet someone and open up. Healthier lifestyle? Prioritize self-care and develop practices to support well being. Igniting creativity? Do activities that allow you to play and create.

For so many of us, we discovered and explored our purposes and passions. In 2019, let’s continue creating a lifestyle that supports our best selves and highest expressions!

The Signs: When To Change

Change is hard.  Well, change can be hard or it can be smooth.  Oftentimes, big changes and transformation are difficult because the terrain is bumpy.  

Right now the physical three dimensional world is imbalanced.  We are in transition.  Much infrastructure that exists does not work like an old operating system or VHS tape.  We are shifting from outdated to new structures.  Sometimes modifications and revisions are needed.  In other cases, complete release must occur to create space for beginnings.

An aspect of change that many struggle with most is attachment.  Attachment to the current state of things - a regular schedule, routine, friend circle, communities, and income.  Prior to necessary change, energy builds up like the pressure of overgrown plant roots against the sides of a pot or gas that forms when shaking up a soda can.

Many of us tend to overstay in certain scenarios.  Personally, my career area of life has been a navigational tool in helping to understand the emotional body.  With moon in the 10th house, my emotional body and career are intertwined.  A career to me is not just a job; it moves me.  When a certain career or job is not aligned but I stay in that role, balance is thrown off. Energy does not flow freely, which affects the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual body. Here’s what happens:

Mind becomes overactive, over thoughtful, obsessive.  Thoughts become pollution and leak into the emotional body.  Logic is off.  Intuition is clouded.

Body ailments arise - tweaked neck, sore back, digestive problems, issues sleeping.  Focus and meditation become difficult.

Soul fire starts to wane.  Passion or desire is lost.  In extreme cases, meaninglessness ensues.

These signs indicate that something is not right.  Externally we appear fine - presentable with a secure home, good friends, no major health issues, stable finances, freedom to travel.

Here are more signs:

1. Fragmentation are your heart, mind, and will in conflict?  Does your heart say, “hell no” while the mind says “I should” and your will feels forced?

2. Imbalanced Mind is the mind overactive, obsessive, dominant?

3. Imbalanced Body is the body not functioning optimally? Are there aches, pains, small injuries?

4. Imbalanced Soul does your inner self feel like it’s screaming, caged up, needy or neglected?

5. Repetitive messages or signs hearing, seeing, feeling the same things over and over?  This is important.  Listen.  Does your car need maintenance?  Do you keep seeing frayed fabric or loose strings?  Ties may need to be cut or you may be holding on by a thread.  Message is to let go.

6. Songs Stuck in Your Head?  Break down the lyrics.  What do they convey?

Overall our current world is not balanced.  Therefore, we must nourish ourselves and open up to wholeness to balance our inner temples.  We cannot rely on concrete, traffic, what people say, our jobs, our friends, or what we consume to balance us.  By strengthening our inner selves (our soul fabric, keeping our bodies clear and charged) we increase our abilities to stay balanced and to thrive in the world.  Again we must rely on the inside because what’s on the outside is a reflection of the inner.  Change from within is what changes the world.