There is not one formula on how to make choices or decisions, but here are some tips and tools.
First off, are you making a choice or a decision? Choice connotes option and selection where decision stems from root word “to cut off.”
Consider the following when choosing or deciding:
Values Clarify and define your values. The processes of developing and refining our values and value system occur throughout life. Over time, we shed values that belong to our parents and society. Others we develop through experience and lessons.
As our values become clearer, our reference point becomes more defined. We can make choices by asking, “what adds value and what doesn’t?” or “which choice aligns with our values?”
Our values are constantly shaping so it’s healthy to update them as we grow wise. The closer we come to self mastery and knowing our truths, the more easily we establish clear values as reference points.
Uniqueness Accept your uniqueness and that your decision making method is personal. Again there is not one formula.
Subtle Body Mastery Observe and become aware of your subtle bodies and facets. Here is a simple example of how our different subtle bodies and aspects of self may respond to a simple question: to eat the cookie or not to eat the cookie?
Our emotions and inner child may say “Yes! I want it - it will make me feel good. I haven’t had a cookie in so long!” Our body may say “No thanks, I’m preparing to do yoga and this will not make me feel good during practice.” Our mind may say “well, since this cookie has X grams of sugar and is not keto-friendly, and I already had a treat today, maybe I shouldn’t…or maybe I should because if I keep restricting myself, I’ll eat more later.”
Hearing the answer of the wisdom body develops with time and practice because this takes calming of the mental and emotional bodies. This wisdom body, connected with our intuitive facet, whose choice knows and seeks alignment, is usually the best compass. This body knows if it’s time to stake boundaries and say no or if it’s time to be flexible and say yes. The answer is not simple and depends on all conditions that have led up to this point.
Imagine all of the choices we make daily. They add up. The more we know and allow our subtle body responses to harmonize by giving ourselves practices, quietude, and space to hear the wisdom body, choices will become more effortless and seamless. We will KNOW.
Direction Consider your goals and intentions. Which choice moves you in that direction? Which choice keeps you neutral, and which choice leads you further away? Again the answer is not always obvious because sometimes you need to move further away to gain new perspective or to break a pattern. Give the wisdom body space to answer.
Timing Wait for clarity. If you are not sure and the answer is “maybe,” meditate on it. Have patience. “Maybe” is an okay answer until you have clarity. Allow answers to unfold in divine timing.
Communication Talk about your crossroads or intersection with a friend, family member, teacher or someone you trust - someone who will let you talk and weigh your options. People who listen well can be your mirrors for the answer. In most cases, avoid someone who tells you what to do or fills the space with advice.
Reading Get a reading for guidance on how to navigate.
Be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself. Choices may seem simple but are not always easy! Honor your time, place, and space in every moment!